I need you...

As I rest in the fertile void between winter and spring - both outwardly and inwardly - I would love to ask something of you...

Hello lovely one

I am currently mirroring my outside environment internally. As I move from my inner winter (bleeding time) towards my inner spring (pre-ovulation/ovulation phase) I am very much resting in the sacred void of possibility.

Hanging in the delicate balance between action and non action.

I sat in a meditation on Sunday - a short and sweet practice offered by

Sara Duigou

so generously here - and as she invited me to be with ‘what is’ the message that came through loud and clear was 'I am tired’…. and a soft whisper spoke to my heart that asked for pause… integration… rest. .

Of course, my mind is telling me (loudly) to ‘be consistent’ and keep showing up to my writing, to my work, to my readers. And yet my heart and soul are guiding me (quietly and softly) into taking a little integration time.

This is one of the ways I differentiate between my authentic insights and my ‘shoulds’. Authenticity speaks to me gently, lovingly, without urgency. The ‘shoulds’ however, try and drown out that authentic inner voice with shouty, bolshy force. It has taken me 40 years to really sink into this.

Last week I wrote about being In Devotion to the Creative Pause… I was thinking that little gap was just going to be a week if I am honest, however when I truly, truly tune in to the distinct lack of energy to take big action steps and put my energy outwards at the moment, the sparkle just isn’t there.

The call from within is to give myself some creative grace for the month of February. This is the month I often find the hardest for some reason - it is that ‘in between’ sense of seeing spring start to show subtle notes… and yet not being anywhere near the warmth and glow and lightness that, by this point in the season, I am yearning for.

I am not saying I won’t create or write anything here - but I am going to take any form of structure off the table.

An annoying voice from within is stating to me that I am a failure because I committed to writing every Wednesday and stopping that will break my consistency.

Then there is a much softer and more loving voice that is reminding me that taking a break is the most nourishing and supportive thing I could ever do for my heArt.

And then, for final confirmation, when I tune in to my inner authority as a Sacral Manifesting Generator - the idea of space versus consistency is what is lighting me up and making me feel most excited and expansive.

So… decision made.

I know I am not alone in these pauses and that they are essential to be truly in service to the creative energy that courses through us all. I just forget that sometimes.

This piece from

Brooke Solis

reminded me of the richness in carving out space to simply dream for a little while, and others around me, both on and off Substack, are taking time away to replenish.

Tending to my wellspring

January was a month of depth for me - my writing came deep and raw, my emotions gnarly and shadowy, my Mothering took me to new levels of resilience and (in)tolerance, my physical body has been fighting to stay afloat amongst a sea of germs and sleeplessness.

And now here I am, resting in the pause that comes at the end of a big ol’ sigh. The gap between exhale and inhale. The end of a contraction. If we aren’t conscious of it, we miss this fertile space.

Preparation. Recalibration. Integration.

Waiting… waiting for the inhale.

Don’t gasp it in. Don’t rush it. Let it gently rise and fill the body.

Expansion. It will come… in time it will come. Have faith.

This integration time is truly essential to our ability to thrive and feel alive. Otherwise we simply bulldoze into the next phase without so much as a glance back at all that has unfolded.

To be honest I haven’t really given myself this time in a while… perhaps ever… not willingly anyway.

So - for February I am removing the pressure to write every week to you - and if I do write - it will be spontaneous and in the moment - probably on a random day.

I will be back to my weekly love notes I promise - and I have no doubt that come next Wednesday there will be a pang to connect with you, to share what is on my heart.

But as the old saying goes - ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’… and I am excited and curious to see what a little open space does for the ideas that are bubbling under the surface.

I would love to know - where are you at in your creative season? Are you in the expansion phase? The contraction phase? Or one of the many phases that meet us along the way.

Before I sign off today I do however have a few important things to share…

I need you…

An invitation for you to support me in the next phase of my heart work…

I want to get to know you, and what your heart is craving. I want to hear about your desires and longings. I want to know how I can be of greatest service to you through my writing and offerings.

So, to give my Manifesting Generator energy something to respond to, I have created a Survey and I would be so grateful if you could fill it in for me. It isn’t your usual kind of survey - it has a little self reflection woven into it, and some questions for you to contemplate. I hope you will consider it as a little conversation with a friend.

In return for your energy and time I will gift everyone who submits the survey with a 3 month free subscription to my paid content here on Substack (there are meditations, yoga nidras, audio voice notes and more coming) AND I will also pick one person at random to receive a Human Design reading with me.

You can fill it out by clicking the button below. The deadline to complete it is 15th February. THANK YOU!

Save the date…

I am so so excited to announce a collaboration between

Lyndsay Kaldor

and myself to create an IN REAL LIFE event in London for fellow Substackers. This will be a nourishing half day retreat-style offering for those who want to sit in sacred space with other writers, tend to their own creativity through seasonal ritual, and be held in their storytelling journeys.

If this calls to you, please save the time and date… Saturday 20th April from 10 - 1.30pm, and if you want to be first to know when the early bird tickets are available, click the button below to be added to the waitlist.

We are securing the last few details before releasing the tickets but that will be coming very, very soon.

The joys and gratitude of co-creation

And, while I am not actively sharing a longer essay this week, if you are craving some of my usual Motherhood honesty and truths in written form, you can read this piece I wrote for

Emma Del Rey

for her Unspoken Word Series. I am dropping some edgy truths over there and am so grateful to Emma for holding space for my words, this series she is creating is so needed.

Walking in and out of the underworld

If you miss me dropping into your inbox on Wednesdays this month you can always send me an email anytime. I know people always say that in a newsletter - but I genuinely mean it. Connection with you is truly sacred to me.

Until next time…

Holding you in so much love,

Lauren

xxx

Recent articles you might have missed…

• In Devotion To The Sacred Pause - why taking space is so important for our creativity.

• The Power of Micro Moments of Regulation - how to soothe and settle when space is limited.

• Not the year I thought it would be - my thoughts on the first year as a Mother of two.

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Hello to anyone who is new here… I am Lauren, a Mother of two daughters, a Writer, Coach, Soulful Business Mentor, Website & Branding Creator, Human Design Guide, Sacred Space Holder and multi dimensional human being. You can find out more about my work here. Please do subscribe to join the journey, and if you enjoy this, and you do have the means, I would be so grateful if you chose to support my creations for £5 a month…