Thank you so much for sharing! It is the hardest job, mothering 2, yet I too would choose it again and again.
I really love everything you write and share, it always speaks to me and makes me cry and I want to give you a big hug.
I've felt guilty today for putting my eldest in preschool more hours, then questioning myself as a mother as I want more time away from him so I can have more time for myself when the baby naps. Thinking I should want to spend more time with him as I don't feel as close to him as before 😢 yet he is nearly 3 and I find him very challenging and don't like how much I lose my patience and raise .y voice around him, but then I give myself grace as I too only get about 2-3 hours of sleep at one time 🙈
Oh love - truly feel this all and am in that similar space of deeply desiring more space for myself and battling with the inner narrative that I should devote all of myself to my children, especially as I do settling with Vesper at nursery.
I am really working on unravelling the story that to be a 'good Mother' I need to devote every ounce of me to them - because that simply isn't true, realistic, or natural. We all have our own individual needs and I think we have to be radically honest about those and then take the steps to meet them as best as we can - even when it feels like we are going against the grain. I am learning about my sensory needs and that looks different to other Mothers - and it is so hard not to compare. I have so much I could say about this and I am sure when we meet up we will unpick it all together - but you are doing so amazingly, and your boys are so lucky to have you as their Mama.
Grateful for your love and support in this space. xxx
Thank you for your rawness and honesty, this piece moved me very much. I’ve just joined Substack and no idea how it works but just published my first piece which has lots of resonance with this if you care to read x
Thank you so much for reading, and I have saved your first piece to read when I get some space. So exciting you have stepped into this space to share your words - I only started in March last year and have very much learned as I went along. xx
You are definitely not alone in feeling all of this. My second was louder than my first and only happy when I held her for most of the first several months, she preferred to fall asleep while touching me for the first two years. With my first I felt a deep connection, sort of a knowing about her and who she was/what she needed. This didn’t happen for my second, at least not that first year. And as you said the inner worries of spending attention equally on both children was maddening. But I will say, for both of my children things felt lighter when they reached 18-24 months. And now I have two little kids who are each others best friends (despite the quarrels) and my first doesn’t remember the before time clearly (she was still 2yo). Now that my youngest is four, I’m better able to heal all the wounds from the baby time and begin to move into the next phase. I was gleeful at each “graduation”--no crib, weaning (okay a little sad), no co-sleeping, no diapers. Mothering more than one is hard. It’s okay to celebrate how growing up makes it physically easier. I’m currently dreaming about the phase when they bathed themselves.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder that the healing doesn't have to be 'done' all in the moment and that it can take time... I needed to remember that. I am definitely still healing things from when my first was a baby - it takes time. I remember 2 years old being a big milestone and shift for me with my first - and while I don't want to wish away all the time - I do feel that these early couple of years are so intense and look forward to the times when they can really play together and we can go out for walks, and don't have to be restricted to nap times. SO grateful for you reading and truly seeing the essence in my words, it really means a lot to me. xx
Lauren, although my littles are not so little anymore there is definitely resonance for motherhood and going through so many phases of it. (they happen so quickly that soon as I felt I had my head wrapped around one thing another change would happen and I had to start all over again). But what I want to say more than anything is that you are doing great. I can tell by the consciousness of your words and worries that you love your family so, and that is apparent here. If no one has told you today, you are Love, you are a loving mom 🥰 and you are beloved. Be loved. 😇
Thank you so much, I really gratefully receive your words and thank you for witnessing this all through the eyes of love. I do feel that I can see through the hard phases now rather than get so lost in them which is a blessing. Xx
I was thrown into 2 right away w twins and I compared myself to everyone else constantly, it seemed to me that everyone had a perfect pregnancy, and caring for their little ones with all of this 1:1 time and my experience was HARD! I get the struggle of two littles ones to tend to and the exhaustion and the both/and emotions (still have them and mine are now almost 8!) but i think we are coming to place in this world that we MUST share these experiences so other mothers can feel less alone (rather than the picture perfect.. and bs nonsense of “let’s all thrive instead of survive”) we need to feel our emotions through this transformational journey…so I applaud you in sharing this and your vulnerability—the more of us who share the raw, the more we can support one another and move into a *truly* awakened and healing motherhood
Oh thank you so much lovely - and I am in absolute awe of Mothers who have multiples - honestly so much admiration for you and it must have been so hard. I really truly do agree that we need to share it all so that nobody feels alone or broken in a world that truly does commend hiding emotions and being the 'picture perfect' Mum. The emotions I have felt this year have been wild but also... there is so much healing in that journey of mothering myself through it. Grateful for your shares and presence here. xx
Oh dearest Lauren, thank you for finding these words and speaking this truth. The depth of your feelings and experience reveal how painstakingly you mother your darling little ones and the importance you place on your role, they are so lucky to have you.
So much resonates, particularly the feeling that I was led down the garden path about the second child slotting in, (though in a different way to you as the experience of my first reads almost identically to your sweet sparkler second babe). Though I now remember a guy in the park telling me that the second/two was SO much harder and I chose to disregard this memo until my mind allows me to remember it now!
There is so much that is harder (I often wonder why I’m finding it so hard...and it has only possibly/maybe started to ease in some of the most visceral ways now my youngest is 2) — the emotional pain of being forever divided is one that I continue to hold in my heart xx
Thank you dearest for truly seeing and holding all of my words in this way, I am intrigued as to how I might feel at 2 years old because even when I look back to 6 and 9 months I can see just how much changes and so rapidly.
Forever divided... gosh that gives me goosebumps - it really does feel like that and making peace with that is hard. So grateful for you. xxx
Oh my gosh, it’s as if you have written my story of my first year as a mother of two. Thank you for sharing this as it has given me the opportunity to take a moment to reflect. I thought it would be easier but it’s been the most far from myself I’ve ever felt and it has been wobb-er-ly!
Wobb-er-ly is a very good description for it! Gosh it is such a lot isn't it? A LOT... wild... intense... so many ways to describe it. I am so glad that my words gave you a moment to reflect - we so often sweep on to the next experience I think in Motherhood because it is so full on - but equally there is so much integration that needs to happen to be able to process such BIGNESS. Holding you as you find your way back home to yourself - even if that version does look different than before. xxx
Thank you for sharing your heart and the grittiness. I cried the whole way through. I am not sure I have the words, except thank you and you are not alone in feeling how you do.
This could have been written about my first. Breech late in pregnancy as well, elective c-section, the grief of not getting my home water birth. Then the sleep, oh the sleep was so hard and his refusal for anyone but me.
I’m so thankful that boy made me a mom (6 years tomorrow!) and that my experience with him softened me and prepared me to take on a role of supporting other women and their partners through the various stages of parenting.
But when you’re in it, it can feel impossible to know how you’ll make it through another day.
Thank you for being real and raw about your experience. Sending a wish for a year that moves toward less survival mode and more like thriving.
Thank you - gosh that sounds like such a familiar story - and yet despite the intensity and how hard it is you are right that it softens the hardest of edges and forces us to excavate parts of ourselves that are longing to be seen. Gosh - it is such an initiation isn't it? My birth story writing begins with the grief of not getting the birth I hoped for - or even being able to give it a good go... it still hasn't quite formulated fully so I am not sure it is ready to be expressed yet - but I feel you.
Thriving in 2024 sounds lush... grateful for that wish. xx
Temperament doesn’t get discussed enough! I had the reverse order - more intense first and (relatively) easier second. Babies are a lot, but the sparkly ones are A LOT. I have a piece coming out this weekend about parenting low sleep needs children that I think you’ll relate to. Thanks for sharing your story of both/and
Very much looking forward to reading that piece Anna, and I agree - temperament is not discussed at all - and I was not prepared for just how sparkly... but I know she will SHINE because of it. x
Lauren, this is really powerful to read. Your vulnerability in sharing this is felt and you are absolutely never alone. The ebb & flow, the nuances, constant evolutionary moments, they are all here to serve us in ways that may not make sense at the time - though I’m sure once you’re out the other side, you will read back on these words and know just how strong a woman and absolutely incredible mother you are to your two beautiful daughters.
I’m sending the warmest virtual hug across the globe. Thank you for being so open ✨🤍🌼☁️
Thank you lovely - the ebb and flow indeed - it really is a never ending rollercoaster of emotions. I am so grateful for that hug - and for you reading and receiving my words with such love. xx
After moving home back at the beginning of Jan I'm only just reading this incredible and potent post. The honesty infused into this piece is truly admirable and I can really relate to that lingering threat of overwhelm at any given moment in those first years.
I'm a single mother of three children (who I also home educate) and I feel like it's only been the past couple of years that I've found the spaciousness I missed so much. I had my eldest when I was 19 and truly loved the first year of mothering each of my children but I remember really struggling with the second and third years every time. I'm also very sensitive (especially when it comes to noise) and something about those toddler years felt especially brutal: the noise, the amplification of needs and just the general intensity of it all (also exacerbated by the state of my marriage at the time).
I really remember that feeling of being touched out and wondering if it was normal to feel like I hated breastfeeding in moments which I had loved in the first year. My youngest turned 7 yesterday and it all feels like a lifetime ago now but my biggest pain point around it all is how unsupported I felt in those early years by my ex. I still carry a lot of grief around how he impacted my experience of early motherhood and those tender and formative years of my children's lives.
Thank you so much for sharing this Laura, the grief of what 'could have been' when supported in the way that we truly need is something I am really having to hold and honour myself as well. While I try very much to stay expectation-free in this journey - I can't help but hold hopes for certain things and when they haven't materialised it has been hard to swallow. I am sorry you felt that lack of support from your ex, it must have been so hurtful and hard when caring for three children AND yourself. The sensory overload of these years is at times too much for me to bear... I never understood the term 'touched out' before - but now it is almost like my skin recoils sometimes when I receive touch. So very grateful for you sharing your words here. Thank you xxx
Its such a common experience in motherhood to not feel held and supported in the ways we need. Those early years are such a blur now, at the time I would just bury any emotion so its been a few years of really processing the end of my marriage and the pain of the way I was treated during those years. I still feel resentment in moments but for the most part I have made my peace with it.
I really feel you regarding the sensory overload, and your description of feeling touched out is absolutely spot on! Now that mine are a little older the touched out phase is over for me but in truth I still find the noise very challenging, I definitely need to invest in some earplugs 😅 xxx
Yes to all of this. I too wrote about the difficulty of going from one to two. My kiddos are now 10 and 12 so I am way past those hard years. Good for you for processing it in real time. I was such a
Oh I am looking forward to reading this… I’m sure the integration will take many more years. Layers and layers. Thank you so much for sharing your experience xx
Thank you for this. I am 30weeks with my second. I will have 2 under 2 girls, and the opening in me that have already been happening were so transformative. When I founds out I am pregnant I was lost in darkness for several months. My fears, my wounds, my pains everything came to surface. I dont what is waiting for me I hope ill have enough strengh to go one day at the time. Thank you for sharing, motherhood is most powerful experince I evenr had. Compassion and constant letting go (like every 5min 😂) that keeps me sane. Thank you
Oh I’m sending you so much love in this transition, it’s brutal and beautiful and i, like you, spent a lot of my pregnancy facing my shadows. You will be amazed at what you can do, it’s the most powerful and painful and transformative experience. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your truth. Xx
Thank you Lauren! I also listened to your podcast today on motherhood and business. Where I was nodding my head to everything say yes yes yes cause you spoke my mind out loud for sure. But if you don’t mind asking about the shift after second baby. Were you creating during that first year of postpartum? Lots of appreciation
Oh I’m so glad you listened and enjoyed it! So yes... I had around two months where I didn’t do much, but then around 3 months PP I started this Substack and I also returned to working with my design and mentoring clients around 4 months PP... but I would say it was definitely around the edges and I had a friend who did some childcare for me and took the baby out for walks and helped me two days a week, while my eldest was in pre school for three days too. It has been a real dance... I actually wrote about it here last year... https://open.substack.com/pub/laurenbarber/p/the-dance-of-motherhood-and-sacred?r=cb2b6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcome=true but my work and creativity is very much my soul food and so I knew I needed to find a way to weave it in still. I had to accept a different level of doing it... and still do to be honest... but it’s gradually returning to a rhythm where I feel I’m able to balance mothering and business in a nourishing way again...
Ou thats my goal to be able to to do both. I identify with every word you said in this post (motherhood and sacred bus). I def call it dance (as I call everything in life) and i do feel like both are my both creative tranformations
I been doing sexuality coaching for almost 10 years. But I know that there things a do not want to do any more at least currently (like couples coaching) and I know I do not want to focus only on sexuality. I want it to become bigger conversations. More expansive of ones life. Currently I am facilitating new project (4 week womend group) and really observing where my energies lean towards. Where i can be most in service.
I love that you are in that place of observing and also it sounds like really refining your sacred heart work... I have found Motherhood a constant reminder to always be letting go to allow for newness and space and ideas... I am so glad it lands for you in this way. Would love to hear more about your Sexuality Coaching... I explored and studied this myself but haven’t integrated it into my offerings... yet... although I suspect that is partly due to my own inner seasons and it but being the right time xxx
I totally understand how you feel I became a mom of two back in March last year and this one hit me harder than my first.I am just now discovering my identity now as a mom of two and reconnecting to my inner self. It is not easy mentally, physically or emotionally but we will make it through
Thank you so much for the supportive words, I hear you on it all. Rediscovering who we are in this new phase is a slow and gentle journey - it really can't be rushed. Sending hugs and patience and solidarity. xx
Thank you so much for sharing! It is the hardest job, mothering 2, yet I too would choose it again and again.
I really love everything you write and share, it always speaks to me and makes me cry and I want to give you a big hug.
I've felt guilty today for putting my eldest in preschool more hours, then questioning myself as a mother as I want more time away from him so I can have more time for myself when the baby naps. Thinking I should want to spend more time with him as I don't feel as close to him as before 😢 yet he is nearly 3 and I find him very challenging and don't like how much I lose my patience and raise .y voice around him, but then I give myself grace as I too only get about 2-3 hours of sleep at one time 🙈
You are one inredible amazing mama ❤️
Oh love - truly feel this all and am in that similar space of deeply desiring more space for myself and battling with the inner narrative that I should devote all of myself to my children, especially as I do settling with Vesper at nursery.
I am really working on unravelling the story that to be a 'good Mother' I need to devote every ounce of me to them - because that simply isn't true, realistic, or natural. We all have our own individual needs and I think we have to be radically honest about those and then take the steps to meet them as best as we can - even when it feels like we are going against the grain. I am learning about my sensory needs and that looks different to other Mothers - and it is so hard not to compare. I have so much I could say about this and I am sure when we meet up we will unpick it all together - but you are doing so amazingly, and your boys are so lucky to have you as their Mama.
Grateful for your love and support in this space. xxx
How beautifully put, you always put it into the right words, let's meet soon. Hope settling Vesper in is going ok x
Thank you for your rawness and honesty, this piece moved me very much. I’ve just joined Substack and no idea how it works but just published my first piece which has lots of resonance with this if you care to read x
Thank you so much for reading, and I have saved your first piece to read when I get some space. So exciting you have stepped into this space to share your words - I only started in March last year and have very much learned as I went along. xx
You are definitely not alone in feeling all of this. My second was louder than my first and only happy when I held her for most of the first several months, she preferred to fall asleep while touching me for the first two years. With my first I felt a deep connection, sort of a knowing about her and who she was/what she needed. This didn’t happen for my second, at least not that first year. And as you said the inner worries of spending attention equally on both children was maddening. But I will say, for both of my children things felt lighter when they reached 18-24 months. And now I have two little kids who are each others best friends (despite the quarrels) and my first doesn’t remember the before time clearly (she was still 2yo). Now that my youngest is four, I’m better able to heal all the wounds from the baby time and begin to move into the next phase. I was gleeful at each “graduation”--no crib, weaning (okay a little sad), no co-sleeping, no diapers. Mothering more than one is hard. It’s okay to celebrate how growing up makes it physically easier. I’m currently dreaming about the phase when they bathed themselves.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder that the healing doesn't have to be 'done' all in the moment and that it can take time... I needed to remember that. I am definitely still healing things from when my first was a baby - it takes time. I remember 2 years old being a big milestone and shift for me with my first - and while I don't want to wish away all the time - I do feel that these early couple of years are so intense and look forward to the times when they can really play together and we can go out for walks, and don't have to be restricted to nap times. SO grateful for you reading and truly seeing the essence in my words, it really means a lot to me. xx
Lauren, although my littles are not so little anymore there is definitely resonance for motherhood and going through so many phases of it. (they happen so quickly that soon as I felt I had my head wrapped around one thing another change would happen and I had to start all over again). But what I want to say more than anything is that you are doing great. I can tell by the consciousness of your words and worries that you love your family so, and that is apparent here. If no one has told you today, you are Love, you are a loving mom 🥰 and you are beloved. Be loved. 😇
Thank you so much, I really gratefully receive your words and thank you for witnessing this all through the eyes of love. I do feel that I can see through the hard phases now rather than get so lost in them which is a blessing. Xx
I was thrown into 2 right away w twins and I compared myself to everyone else constantly, it seemed to me that everyone had a perfect pregnancy, and caring for their little ones with all of this 1:1 time and my experience was HARD! I get the struggle of two littles ones to tend to and the exhaustion and the both/and emotions (still have them and mine are now almost 8!) but i think we are coming to place in this world that we MUST share these experiences so other mothers can feel less alone (rather than the picture perfect.. and bs nonsense of “let’s all thrive instead of survive”) we need to feel our emotions through this transformational journey…so I applaud you in sharing this and your vulnerability—the more of us who share the raw, the more we can support one another and move into a *truly* awakened and healing motherhood
Oh thank you so much lovely - and I am in absolute awe of Mothers who have multiples - honestly so much admiration for you and it must have been so hard. I really truly do agree that we need to share it all so that nobody feels alone or broken in a world that truly does commend hiding emotions and being the 'picture perfect' Mum. The emotions I have felt this year have been wild but also... there is so much healing in that journey of mothering myself through it. Grateful for your shares and presence here. xx
Oh dearest Lauren, thank you for finding these words and speaking this truth. The depth of your feelings and experience reveal how painstakingly you mother your darling little ones and the importance you place on your role, they are so lucky to have you.
So much resonates, particularly the feeling that I was led down the garden path about the second child slotting in, (though in a different way to you as the experience of my first reads almost identically to your sweet sparkler second babe). Though I now remember a guy in the park telling me that the second/two was SO much harder and I chose to disregard this memo until my mind allows me to remember it now!
There is so much that is harder (I often wonder why I’m finding it so hard...and it has only possibly/maybe started to ease in some of the most visceral ways now my youngest is 2) — the emotional pain of being forever divided is one that I continue to hold in my heart xx
Thank you dearest for truly seeing and holding all of my words in this way, I am intrigued as to how I might feel at 2 years old because even when I look back to 6 and 9 months I can see just how much changes and so rapidly.
Forever divided... gosh that gives me goosebumps - it really does feel like that and making peace with that is hard. So grateful for you. xxx
Oh my gosh, it’s as if you have written my story of my first year as a mother of two. Thank you for sharing this as it has given me the opportunity to take a moment to reflect. I thought it would be easier but it’s been the most far from myself I’ve ever felt and it has been wobb-er-ly!
Wobb-er-ly is a very good description for it! Gosh it is such a lot isn't it? A LOT... wild... intense... so many ways to describe it. I am so glad that my words gave you a moment to reflect - we so often sweep on to the next experience I think in Motherhood because it is so full on - but equally there is so much integration that needs to happen to be able to process such BIGNESS. Holding you as you find your way back home to yourself - even if that version does look different than before. xxx
Thank you for sharing your heart and the grittiness. I cried the whole way through. I am not sure I have the words, except thank you and you are not alone in feeling how you do.
Oh love... I am holding you through the tears and feeling such gratitude to be able to share and have my truth held so lovingly. Thank you. x
This could have been written about my first. Breech late in pregnancy as well, elective c-section, the grief of not getting my home water birth. Then the sleep, oh the sleep was so hard and his refusal for anyone but me.
I’m so thankful that boy made me a mom (6 years tomorrow!) and that my experience with him softened me and prepared me to take on a role of supporting other women and their partners through the various stages of parenting.
But when you’re in it, it can feel impossible to know how you’ll make it through another day.
Thank you for being real and raw about your experience. Sending a wish for a year that moves toward less survival mode and more like thriving.
Thank you - gosh that sounds like such a familiar story - and yet despite the intensity and how hard it is you are right that it softens the hardest of edges and forces us to excavate parts of ourselves that are longing to be seen. Gosh - it is such an initiation isn't it? My birth story writing begins with the grief of not getting the birth I hoped for - or even being able to give it a good go... it still hasn't quite formulated fully so I am not sure it is ready to be expressed yet - but I feel you.
Thriving in 2024 sounds lush... grateful for that wish. xx
Temperament doesn’t get discussed enough! I had the reverse order - more intense first and (relatively) easier second. Babies are a lot, but the sparkly ones are A LOT. I have a piece coming out this weekend about parenting low sleep needs children that I think you’ll relate to. Thanks for sharing your story of both/and
Very much looking forward to reading that piece Anna, and I agree - temperament is not discussed at all - and I was not prepared for just how sparkly... but I know she will SHINE because of it. x
Lauren, this is really powerful to read. Your vulnerability in sharing this is felt and you are absolutely never alone. The ebb & flow, the nuances, constant evolutionary moments, they are all here to serve us in ways that may not make sense at the time - though I’m sure once you’re out the other side, you will read back on these words and know just how strong a woman and absolutely incredible mother you are to your two beautiful daughters.
I’m sending the warmest virtual hug across the globe. Thank you for being so open ✨🤍🌼☁️
Thank you lovely - the ebb and flow indeed - it really is a never ending rollercoaster of emotions. I am so grateful for that hug - and for you reading and receiving my words with such love. xx
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Thank you ✨
I am glad you found it when you needed it. xx
After moving home back at the beginning of Jan I'm only just reading this incredible and potent post. The honesty infused into this piece is truly admirable and I can really relate to that lingering threat of overwhelm at any given moment in those first years.
I'm a single mother of three children (who I also home educate) and I feel like it's only been the past couple of years that I've found the spaciousness I missed so much. I had my eldest when I was 19 and truly loved the first year of mothering each of my children but I remember really struggling with the second and third years every time. I'm also very sensitive (especially when it comes to noise) and something about those toddler years felt especially brutal: the noise, the amplification of needs and just the general intensity of it all (also exacerbated by the state of my marriage at the time).
I really remember that feeling of being touched out and wondering if it was normal to feel like I hated breastfeeding in moments which I had loved in the first year. My youngest turned 7 yesterday and it all feels like a lifetime ago now but my biggest pain point around it all is how unsupported I felt in those early years by my ex. I still carry a lot of grief around how he impacted my experience of early motherhood and those tender and formative years of my children's lives.
Thank you so much for sharing this Laura, the grief of what 'could have been' when supported in the way that we truly need is something I am really having to hold and honour myself as well. While I try very much to stay expectation-free in this journey - I can't help but hold hopes for certain things and when they haven't materialised it has been hard to swallow. I am sorry you felt that lack of support from your ex, it must have been so hurtful and hard when caring for three children AND yourself. The sensory overload of these years is at times too much for me to bear... I never understood the term 'touched out' before - but now it is almost like my skin recoils sometimes when I receive touch. So very grateful for you sharing your words here. Thank you xxx
Its such a common experience in motherhood to not feel held and supported in the ways we need. Those early years are such a blur now, at the time I would just bury any emotion so its been a few years of really processing the end of my marriage and the pain of the way I was treated during those years. I still feel resentment in moments but for the most part I have made my peace with it.
I really feel you regarding the sensory overload, and your description of feeling touched out is absolutely spot on! Now that mine are a little older the touched out phase is over for me but in truth I still find the noise very challenging, I definitely need to invest in some earplugs 😅 xxx
Yes to all of this. I too wrote about the difficulty of going from one to two. My kiddos are now 10 and 12 so I am way past those hard years. Good for you for processing it in real time. I was such a
zombie those years I didn't realize how hard it was until I started writing about five years later. https://cindyditiberio.substack.com/p/the-challenge-of-the-second-child
Oh I am looking forward to reading this… I’m sure the integration will take many more years. Layers and layers. Thank you so much for sharing your experience xx
Thank you for this. I am 30weeks with my second. I will have 2 under 2 girls, and the opening in me that have already been happening were so transformative. When I founds out I am pregnant I was lost in darkness for several months. My fears, my wounds, my pains everything came to surface. I dont what is waiting for me I hope ill have enough strengh to go one day at the time. Thank you for sharing, motherhood is most powerful experince I evenr had. Compassion and constant letting go (like every 5min 😂) that keeps me sane. Thank you
Oh I’m sending you so much love in this transition, it’s brutal and beautiful and i, like you, spent a lot of my pregnancy facing my shadows. You will be amazed at what you can do, it’s the most powerful and painful and transformative experience. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your truth. Xx
Thank you Lauren! I also listened to your podcast today on motherhood and business. Where I was nodding my head to everything say yes yes yes cause you spoke my mind out loud for sure. But if you don’t mind asking about the shift after second baby. Were you creating during that first year of postpartum? Lots of appreciation
Oh I’m so glad you listened and enjoyed it! So yes... I had around two months where I didn’t do much, but then around 3 months PP I started this Substack and I also returned to working with my design and mentoring clients around 4 months PP... but I would say it was definitely around the edges and I had a friend who did some childcare for me and took the baby out for walks and helped me two days a week, while my eldest was in pre school for three days too. It has been a real dance... I actually wrote about it here last year... https://open.substack.com/pub/laurenbarber/p/the-dance-of-motherhood-and-sacred?r=cb2b6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcome=true but my work and creativity is very much my soul food and so I knew I needed to find a way to weave it in still. I had to accept a different level of doing it... and still do to be honest... but it’s gradually returning to a rhythm where I feel I’m able to balance mothering and business in a nourishing way again...
What is your creative heart work??? Xx
Ou thats my goal to be able to to do both. I identify with every word you said in this post (motherhood and sacred bus). I def call it dance (as I call everything in life) and i do feel like both are my both creative tranformations
I been doing sexuality coaching for almost 10 years. But I know that there things a do not want to do any more at least currently (like couples coaching) and I know I do not want to focus only on sexuality. I want it to become bigger conversations. More expansive of ones life. Currently I am facilitating new project (4 week womend group) and really observing where my energies lean towards. Where i can be most in service.
I love that you are in that place of observing and also it sounds like really refining your sacred heart work... I have found Motherhood a constant reminder to always be letting go to allow for newness and space and ideas... I am so glad it lands for you in this way. Would love to hear more about your Sexuality Coaching... I explored and studied this myself but haven’t integrated it into my offerings... yet... although I suspect that is partly due to my own inner seasons and it but being the right time xxx
I totally understand how you feel I became a mom of two back in March last year and this one hit me harder than my first.I am just now discovering my identity now as a mom of two and reconnecting to my inner self. It is not easy mentally, physically or emotionally but we will make it through
Thank you so much for the supportive words, I hear you on it all. Rediscovering who we are in this new phase is a slow and gentle journey - it really can't be rushed. Sending hugs and patience and solidarity. xx