This piece is giving me a whole body YES. I'm so glad you published it. A return to the quiet, grounded power that is our very aliveness feels ripe for me, too. Have you read "Women Who Run With the Wolves?" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes? I think you would ADORE it.
I am so glad to hear it gave you that YES!! And yes I have... but I feel that maybe it is time to revisit it. I get something new everytime I pick up that book! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your resonance, I am wishing you so much ALIVENESS. xxx
I love that you are harnessing the power of your bleeds. I have endometriosis so mine are not something I look forward to. I have been struggling with this very topic for a long time now. Vitality has been one of my words this year. I want so badly to feel energetic and alive. I want to be running up and down the beach with my boys and nit utterly exhausted and absent by the end of the day. I want to really LIVE and have joy but I just can’t shake this exhaustion right now. But still I’ll keep fighting for it. Like you I can’t just roll over and give in.
I totally relate to this Tansie! I want to LIVE and be this vibrant, happy person as we unschool our kids and run our business- and yet night wakings (with a 5 year old and 3.5 year old) and early mornings, feel like they’re crushing me🤦🏼♀️
I so appreciate comments like this and these perspective shifting conversations so I can keep working that muscle💕
It really is a muscle isn't it? I am right there with you on the night wakings and early starts - they feel relentless, and I also so appreciate all the perspectives. I have to believe that there is a different way, for us, for the generations to come. xxx
Totally agree!! I keep telling myself “it’s 25% of my life- I can do it and give them my all.” I think balance in all we know and grace in the shifts we’re making in this generation is huge too 💕
And maybe it’s about how we can find thriving in these phases… and allowing it to look a bit different to what our expectations are. For me a lot has been about softening my expectations and saying no to things. Xx
I am witnessing you Tansie, I am so aware that I am utterly privileged to experience my bleeds in this virtually pain-free way. It is always something I am conscious of when I share because I know for so many that their cycles are not something that are easy for them to navigate.
And the exhaustion and depletion is something I have been struggling with so much, especially this last few years with my second pregnancy and my youngest's sleep being brutally unsettled. I have almost grown so tired of feeling tired that I simply cannot stay in that state of being any longer. Not to say I am not tired still - the last few nights have been so exhausting with teething - but I just refuse to accept that it is not possible to find some sort of aliveness, even in our tiredness. I am not sure that even makes sense - but I am talking about a true aliveness radiating from our soul!!! I will keep fighting for it - which means continually trying to dispel the myths we have been told about our right to thrive and be in our power (even when exhausted).
Thank you for reading and sharing your perspective. xxx
I can honestly say that I love my bleeds now. But it wasn't always the case. My teenage bleeds were spent in agonising pain in bed. I always refer back to them as someone twisting a knife in my lower belly. It only ever started to change after my Saturn Return when I invited more movement and better nutrition into my life. I also swapped out mainstream pads to reusable fabric pads which added a layer of pleasure to my bleeds. I never thought such a small act could do that.
Like you Lauren, my bleeds are powerful these days. Courage finds me. I reconnect to my voice in a way that's powerful. I remember my inner power. Visions appear. Truth emerges. And the cycle starts all over again. But with each cycle, I notice something new, a deeper layer that's ready to be peeled back and acknowledged.
I am sending so much love to your teenager self and that agonising pain, it must have been so debilitating, but how powerful that you found a way to lessen this and return to a state of loving them even through all of that. I personally love my period pants the most - haven't found the perfect reusable pad... yet... but those little changes can make such a difference. Something I find really powerful about washing the blood away and seeing it so vibrantly.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. xxx
This feels so nourishing to read, thank you Lauren! I’ve come such a long way from linear to cyclical living, absent bleed, exhaustion, a dry well inside as I didn’t tend to what sparks joy…too
(also one of the reasons why I retuned to substack last year to start creating again) so much you write about here feels true to me too! Xx
Oh the wellspring of creativity - Substack really is so supportive of that. I find so many women I come across have been on this similar path. Our bleed can tell us so much can't it? I just wish we were taught that way from the start, I am grateful that I hopefully get to change that for my own daughters. xxx
I am definite you Lauren! For me it brings up a couple things- one was when I worked at a tantra school briefly and they gave us paid menstrual leave🙀🤯 the other is my friend who is a decade younger than me, I’m so proud of her cause when she interviewed at a law firm she negotiated with the men to allow for certain things during her bleed- I am in awe that she was so courageous to ask for what she needed. And last- I am at odds with the word patriarchy because I feel like so much of it has to do with the father wound and it saddens me how that word is thrown around cause the root meaning of it is father. So I dunno I just wish there was a way to re-frame patriarchy instead of ‘burn’ it like so many in the feminine goddess movement talk about.
Thank you so much for bringing this all to the comments. How incredible that you have both of those ‘examples’ of the cyclical rhythms being honoured and respected. That truly does make me feel hopeful.
And I also really love you raising the point about the patriarchy… I think there are so many layers and really see what you mean, it’s become a very ‘overall’ term used that perhaps needs to be explored deeper. I’m not sure what that would look like but conversations like this certainly bring it up for contemplation. That sacred masculine energy, and the father, and grandfather energy, is so needed. Xxx
I love each and every bit of this. I woke up this morning feeling very much in the autumn phase of myself, which always brings a bit of tension but reading this I am reminded of the gift I will encounter in a week or so. I am all for us reclaiming our aliveness, I think motherhood can be the portal to that, at least it seems to be for me.
Oh yes that shifting of seasons still gets me too... I find actually the winter to spring my most challenging. My favourite time of the whole cycle is the bleed time because I guess it is the most certain maybe? I am so glad you are reclaiming the aliveness too... it feels quite bold to even suggest it is possible. But I have to stay in hope that it is!!! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your perspective. xxx
I understand the shift from winter to spring to be hard, for me, I rev up too fast and forget I am not holding all of my energy yet, like I will be at ovulation. I find it interesting, sometimes the shifts hit me hard. I could talk about this all day!!! You are so welcome.
I really loved this deep dive, it spoke to me on so many levels. As you know, I too attribute my own 'homecoming' to the burnout I experienced and the loss of my cycle in my late 20s/early 30s was the biggest wake up call within that (although to be honest it took me a while to realise or even see it as a problem for a good while which shows just how out of touch with myself I was). It really was the quest for my bleed that led me back to myself and the way that I live now, by the inner and outer seasons. I love what you say about reclaiming aliveness, this is so it. I have been thinking of it as living in fullness and although I am getting there, I still have work to do. I love what you say about changing the narrative and I hope I can go some way to changing these expectations for my daughter (and son where it applies). And yes to the devaluing of the mother role and of the older female/crone/hag archetype, the more wisdom we amass, the more disempowered we become it seems... thank you for honouring your own inner strength and power so that we can see ours xx
Thank you lovely one for your supportive comments, I still find it crazy just how similar our paths have been, but then perhaps it isn't so uncommon for women to have become detached from themselves as we were - but maybe it just isn't spoken about very much. The more I speak of it the more people share their resonance. I hope that we can do our bits to support our daughters to see their power and their right to thrive. And I also have a lot of work to do - I believe a lot of it is coming from my ability to ask and most importantly to receive support, to also rid myself of 'shoulds' and expectations that really do not serve my energy, and to just allow myself to take a little extra time to do things that light me up purely for joy. It is work in progress but I feel like I am taking baby steps. xxx
Yes so true, the more we share, the more others are seen. And yes to the work, lifetimes of ‘shoulds’ to peel away! We will get there and yes we will hopefully hand something quite different to our daughters xx
I think what’s so wonderful about your article and in all the comments is that coming back to our own cycles seems to be a common theme as we reclaim what it means to be a woman. I listed to a fantastic podcast that was called 28ish days later by India Rakusen that covered so many aspects of our cycle from the science to the seasonal and helped with that reconnection.
It has been a real calling for me. Noticing how I really feel in each phase, and being very clear that my cycle losing its rhythm was a sign of something deeper than needed addressing. I find I’m most creative in my spring and summer sections of the cycle, but have a wish to feel more powerful in the week of menstruation. I feel that may also come along with sisterhood and like minded sisters as well as on an individual level. A great piece Lauren thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for your wonderful sharings here Anna, that sounds like a wonderful podcast. My favourite resource so far has been Wild Power the book - it truly helped me to connect in to the gifts in each season. I love the energy of my inner spring and summer, but I think the depth that comes when I pause in my winter is where the insight comes. Spring and Summer feels exciting because I have more energy, but winter just has this quiet, yet very wise, voice that I am getting more and more used to listening to.
It is really wonderful to read so many women finding their way back to themselves via their inner rhythms... I think it truly is such a strong guidance. As I am growing older and I suspect not far off peri menopause I am making sure I savour each bleed because of course there will be a time when that is no longer there and who knows how that will feel then.
Thank you for including the interview Lauren ❤️. Wow, this is powerful, and I love how you are tapping into your inner wisdom and inner knowing on your bleed. Pushing against the norms and narratives of how we feel we should be, act and do as women and mums is a radical act and yes, I so agree with that its almost like 'they' don't want us to know our own power and strength. So it's down to us to remind ourselves and each other, and live our lives the way we want to. Thank you for this inspiring piece ❤️ xx
Thank you for witnessing this outpouring of words lovely… for some reason it feels particularly edgy to write these words, but u also have to trust they needed to be expressed.
It feels like going massively against the grain and I have a lot of the ‘who do I think I am’ voices telling me that I shouldn’t be allowed to thrive or even enjoy moments of life as a woman and mother. I really wonder where that stems from. Xx
Yes, I hear you on it feeling hard to write but knowing that these words need to be out there too, it takes courage to put words out there that feel like that. And often, the words that feel this way are the ones that resonate the most with others too.
Here's to pushing past those voices and instead thriving , enjoying and choosing you! xx
This piece is giving me a whole body YES. I'm so glad you published it. A return to the quiet, grounded power that is our very aliveness feels ripe for me, too. Have you read "Women Who Run With the Wolves?" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes? I think you would ADORE it.
I am so glad to hear it gave you that YES!! And yes I have... but I feel that maybe it is time to revisit it. I get something new everytime I pick up that book! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your resonance, I am wishing you so much ALIVENESS. xxx
I love that you are harnessing the power of your bleeds. I have endometriosis so mine are not something I look forward to. I have been struggling with this very topic for a long time now. Vitality has been one of my words this year. I want so badly to feel energetic and alive. I want to be running up and down the beach with my boys and nit utterly exhausted and absent by the end of the day. I want to really LIVE and have joy but I just can’t shake this exhaustion right now. But still I’ll keep fighting for it. Like you I can’t just roll over and give in.
I totally relate to this Tansie! I want to LIVE and be this vibrant, happy person as we unschool our kids and run our business- and yet night wakings (with a 5 year old and 3.5 year old) and early mornings, feel like they’re crushing me🤦🏼♀️
I so appreciate comments like this and these perspective shifting conversations so I can keep working that muscle💕
It really is a muscle isn't it? I am right there with you on the night wakings and early starts - they feel relentless, and I also so appreciate all the perspectives. I have to believe that there is a different way, for us, for the generations to come. xxx
Totally agree!! I keep telling myself “it’s 25% of my life- I can do it and give them my all.” I think balance in all we know and grace in the shifts we’re making in this generation is huge too 💕
And maybe it’s about how we can find thriving in these phases… and allowing it to look a bit different to what our expectations are. For me a lot has been about softening my expectations and saying no to things. Xx
I am witnessing you Tansie, I am so aware that I am utterly privileged to experience my bleeds in this virtually pain-free way. It is always something I am conscious of when I share because I know for so many that their cycles are not something that are easy for them to navigate.
And the exhaustion and depletion is something I have been struggling with so much, especially this last few years with my second pregnancy and my youngest's sleep being brutally unsettled. I have almost grown so tired of feeling tired that I simply cannot stay in that state of being any longer. Not to say I am not tired still - the last few nights have been so exhausting with teething - but I just refuse to accept that it is not possible to find some sort of aliveness, even in our tiredness. I am not sure that even makes sense - but I am talking about a true aliveness radiating from our soul!!! I will keep fighting for it - which means continually trying to dispel the myths we have been told about our right to thrive and be in our power (even when exhausted).
Thank you for reading and sharing your perspective. xxx
I can honestly say that I love my bleeds now. But it wasn't always the case. My teenage bleeds were spent in agonising pain in bed. I always refer back to them as someone twisting a knife in my lower belly. It only ever started to change after my Saturn Return when I invited more movement and better nutrition into my life. I also swapped out mainstream pads to reusable fabric pads which added a layer of pleasure to my bleeds. I never thought such a small act could do that.
Like you Lauren, my bleeds are powerful these days. Courage finds me. I reconnect to my voice in a way that's powerful. I remember my inner power. Visions appear. Truth emerges. And the cycle starts all over again. But with each cycle, I notice something new, a deeper layer that's ready to be peeled back and acknowledged.
Thank you for beating your drum about it!
I am sending so much love to your teenager self and that agonising pain, it must have been so debilitating, but how powerful that you found a way to lessen this and return to a state of loving them even through all of that. I personally love my period pants the most - haven't found the perfect reusable pad... yet... but those little changes can make such a difference. Something I find really powerful about washing the blood away and seeing it so vibrantly.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. xxx
This feels so nourishing to read, thank you Lauren! I’ve come such a long way from linear to cyclical living, absent bleed, exhaustion, a dry well inside as I didn’t tend to what sparks joy…too
(also one of the reasons why I retuned to substack last year to start creating again) so much you write about here feels true to me too! Xx
Oh the wellspring of creativity - Substack really is so supportive of that. I find so many women I come across have been on this similar path. Our bleed can tell us so much can't it? I just wish we were taught that way from the start, I am grateful that I hopefully get to change that for my own daughters. xxx
I am definite you Lauren! For me it brings up a couple things- one was when I worked at a tantra school briefly and they gave us paid menstrual leave🙀🤯 the other is my friend who is a decade younger than me, I’m so proud of her cause when she interviewed at a law firm she negotiated with the men to allow for certain things during her bleed- I am in awe that she was so courageous to ask for what she needed. And last- I am at odds with the word patriarchy because I feel like so much of it has to do with the father wound and it saddens me how that word is thrown around cause the root meaning of it is father. So I dunno I just wish there was a way to re-frame patriarchy instead of ‘burn’ it like so many in the feminine goddess movement talk about.
Thank you so much for bringing this all to the comments. How incredible that you have both of those ‘examples’ of the cyclical rhythms being honoured and respected. That truly does make me feel hopeful.
And I also really love you raising the point about the patriarchy… I think there are so many layers and really see what you mean, it’s become a very ‘overall’ term used that perhaps needs to be explored deeper. I’m not sure what that would look like but conversations like this certainly bring it up for contemplation. That sacred masculine energy, and the father, and grandfather energy, is so needed. Xxx
This article ❤️
Thank you for reading. xx
I love each and every bit of this. I woke up this morning feeling very much in the autumn phase of myself, which always brings a bit of tension but reading this I am reminded of the gift I will encounter in a week or so. I am all for us reclaiming our aliveness, I think motherhood can be the portal to that, at least it seems to be for me.
Oh yes that shifting of seasons still gets me too... I find actually the winter to spring my most challenging. My favourite time of the whole cycle is the bleed time because I guess it is the most certain maybe? I am so glad you are reclaiming the aliveness too... it feels quite bold to even suggest it is possible. But I have to stay in hope that it is!!! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your perspective. xxx
I understand the shift from winter to spring to be hard, for me, I rev up too fast and forget I am not holding all of my energy yet, like I will be at ovulation. I find it interesting, sometimes the shifts hit me hard. I could talk about this all day!!! You are so welcome.
Happily would talk about it all day!!! ❤️
I really loved this deep dive, it spoke to me on so many levels. As you know, I too attribute my own 'homecoming' to the burnout I experienced and the loss of my cycle in my late 20s/early 30s was the biggest wake up call within that (although to be honest it took me a while to realise or even see it as a problem for a good while which shows just how out of touch with myself I was). It really was the quest for my bleed that led me back to myself and the way that I live now, by the inner and outer seasons. I love what you say about reclaiming aliveness, this is so it. I have been thinking of it as living in fullness and although I am getting there, I still have work to do. I love what you say about changing the narrative and I hope I can go some way to changing these expectations for my daughter (and son where it applies). And yes to the devaluing of the mother role and of the older female/crone/hag archetype, the more wisdom we amass, the more disempowered we become it seems... thank you for honouring your own inner strength and power so that we can see ours xx
Thank you lovely one for your supportive comments, I still find it crazy just how similar our paths have been, but then perhaps it isn't so uncommon for women to have become detached from themselves as we were - but maybe it just isn't spoken about very much. The more I speak of it the more people share their resonance. I hope that we can do our bits to support our daughters to see their power and their right to thrive. And I also have a lot of work to do - I believe a lot of it is coming from my ability to ask and most importantly to receive support, to also rid myself of 'shoulds' and expectations that really do not serve my energy, and to just allow myself to take a little extra time to do things that light me up purely for joy. It is work in progress but I feel like I am taking baby steps. xxx
Yes so true, the more we share, the more others are seen. And yes to the work, lifetimes of ‘shoulds’ to peel away! We will get there and yes we will hopefully hand something quite different to our daughters xx
I think what’s so wonderful about your article and in all the comments is that coming back to our own cycles seems to be a common theme as we reclaim what it means to be a woman. I listed to a fantastic podcast that was called 28ish days later by India Rakusen that covered so many aspects of our cycle from the science to the seasonal and helped with that reconnection.
It has been a real calling for me. Noticing how I really feel in each phase, and being very clear that my cycle losing its rhythm was a sign of something deeper than needed addressing. I find I’m most creative in my spring and summer sections of the cycle, but have a wish to feel more powerful in the week of menstruation. I feel that may also come along with sisterhood and like minded sisters as well as on an individual level. A great piece Lauren thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for your wonderful sharings here Anna, that sounds like a wonderful podcast. My favourite resource so far has been Wild Power the book - it truly helped me to connect in to the gifts in each season. I love the energy of my inner spring and summer, but I think the depth that comes when I pause in my winter is where the insight comes. Spring and Summer feels exciting because I have more energy, but winter just has this quiet, yet very wise, voice that I am getting more and more used to listening to.
It is really wonderful to read so many women finding their way back to themselves via their inner rhythms... I think it truly is such a strong guidance. As I am growing older and I suspect not far off peri menopause I am making sure I savour each bleed because of course there will be a time when that is no longer there and who knows how that will feel then.
Thank you for reading and sharing. xxx
Beautiful share my love, grateful to have witnessed your journey xx
Thank you lovely - what a ride! xxx
Thank you for including the interview Lauren ❤️. Wow, this is powerful, and I love how you are tapping into your inner wisdom and inner knowing on your bleed. Pushing against the norms and narratives of how we feel we should be, act and do as women and mums is a radical act and yes, I so agree with that its almost like 'they' don't want us to know our own power and strength. So it's down to us to remind ourselves and each other, and live our lives the way we want to. Thank you for this inspiring piece ❤️ xx
Thank you for witnessing this outpouring of words lovely… for some reason it feels particularly edgy to write these words, but u also have to trust they needed to be expressed.
It feels like going massively against the grain and I have a lot of the ‘who do I think I am’ voices telling me that I shouldn’t be allowed to thrive or even enjoy moments of life as a woman and mother. I really wonder where that stems from. Xx
Yes, I hear you on it feeling hard to write but knowing that these words need to be out there too, it takes courage to put words out there that feel like that. And often, the words that feel this way are the ones that resonate the most with others too.
Here's to pushing past those voices and instead thriving , enjoying and choosing you! xx