Thank you for allowing us into this most important threshold of your birth portal. Although it was not as you had hoped or imagined, you were so deeply in tune with yourself and baby V, that it feels powerful. You made the choices that were available with sovereignty. I relate so much to that last night of being a 3, I remember putting L to bed knowing that the next time I saw her I would be introducing her to her baby brother (who would become her best friend). It takes me straight back to that tender time. Thank you for sharing, I feel inspired to reflect on M’s birth which was also far from ‘the plan’ xx
I think even if you don’t share it there is a lot of power in writing it down. Maybe just to read yourself if for a trusted person to witness you in it. That last night as a three still chokes me up! I’m so grateful to you reading and seeing the power in this choice as I grappled for a long time feeling like I had failed in some way… but I don’t see it that way at all. Thank you xxxx
Yes I agree. Doing a birth reflection for my first birth ahead of my second was incredibly powerful. I worry that I have forgotten the details of the second birth now and would (kind of) love to see the notes, such a wild time. I did talk it through with a craniosacral therapist in the weeks following, I wonder if she still has a record of what I said… I am so glad you are now rightfully empowered by the decisions you made xx
I am sure that if you took time you would remember it. You can still always request your notes too. I actually took photos of my notes from this birth before my midwife took them! Not sure if I was supposed to but I wanted to remember the times. Xx
“You made the choices that were available with sovereignty” is a truly wonderful way to wrap a deeply complex situation in often inadequate words. The thing I celebrate most in the birth of my second child (a home birth to hospital transfer) is exactly what you wrote there.
Ah thank you for highlighting this. It is probably something I have been thinking about in terms of all aspects of life, inspired by Laura Durban’s words here. I am so glad that it felt fitting for this situation and your own second birth. I think often it is when we feel our power taken away that it can be the most traumatic xx
I can relate so much! For me the birth was really sudden so it took me a long time to realise I had to grieve the birth I wanted and would never get. Thank you for you story 🧡
I’m holding you in that grief Morgane, it’s really truly something that deserves to be witnessed. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your resonance xx
Thank you for sharing your story with us Lauren ❤️. Your pregnancy sounds like it was extremely tough, that must have been a lot to deal with in itself. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying too, I had my first csection with my 3rd child because he was so big and that was by far my hardest birth in terms of how I reacted to the drugs and blood loss, then recovery too. I remember feeling very similar to you the night before too. Sharing our stories like this is so powerful, for ourselves and for others that witness our stories too ❤️ xx
Thank you for witnessing me lovely one. Gosh yes the recovery was an initiation in itself… requiring SO much support and the patience in healing… I am definitely still integrating all of that. So grateful for shared experiences that of course are all unique, but that do have common threads xxx
This is such beautiful and tender writing, Lauren. Making me think back to my own birthing stories and wondering whether to share. It's incredibly healing to fold these stories in, especially when they have not been the stories we ever wanted to be left with the telling of. X
Thank you so much Lindsay. it means so much to read your comment, it felt very healing to write and know they would be witnessed by a loving community space, and it feels like it paves the way for the next chapter to unfold when the words have been told. I think birth stories are like a forgotten gift… they are so often hidden away and unspoken, especially the ones that are undulating journeys, and while I understand for some they are too painful to share, even the act of writing them for ourselves allows integration I think. I would love to read your birth stories if you feel called to share them. Xx
Gosh this is just beautiful. I still get a tug in my chest when I think about what could of been with my desired birth center birth. It feels weird to say I am grateful for the traumatic birth I had but it shook me and sent me on a big journey of healing.
I truly truly see you and resonate with this whole comment. Another case of both/and co-existing together. Both of my births have taught me so much and actually I find a lot of reflections from them in the temperaments of the girls too! Xx
Grateful that you’ve shared. I feel the tension in recognizing a “should,” but also knowing that “should” doesn’t sit on the surface, it’s buried deep and this wasn’t the right time to try to unearth it. I’m also touched by your connection to your little one. I’ve been at ECVs and even when successful, they are intense, and can, indeed add trauma to a delicate and heavy situation (not everyone experiences them that way, but I wish moms had more license to trust their instincts, the way you did here). Thank you for sharing, and including the push and pull of your decision making and the realness of the raw feelings.
Thank you so much for this comment, it really means so much to me. I truly felt that it wasn’t right for us when it came to the ECV, I guess it was a good opportunity to listen in to myself and my baby and set us up for that connection when she came earthside. Very grateful for you reading and reflecting this back to me. X
Thank you for allowing us into this most important threshold of your birth portal. Although it was not as you had hoped or imagined, you were so deeply in tune with yourself and baby V, that it feels powerful. You made the choices that were available with sovereignty. I relate so much to that last night of being a 3, I remember putting L to bed knowing that the next time I saw her I would be introducing her to her baby brother (who would become her best friend). It takes me straight back to that tender time. Thank you for sharing, I feel inspired to reflect on M’s birth which was also far from ‘the plan’ xx
I think even if you don’t share it there is a lot of power in writing it down. Maybe just to read yourself if for a trusted person to witness you in it. That last night as a three still chokes me up! I’m so grateful to you reading and seeing the power in this choice as I grappled for a long time feeling like I had failed in some way… but I don’t see it that way at all. Thank you xxxx
Yes I agree. Doing a birth reflection for my first birth ahead of my second was incredibly powerful. I worry that I have forgotten the details of the second birth now and would (kind of) love to see the notes, such a wild time. I did talk it through with a craniosacral therapist in the weeks following, I wonder if she still has a record of what I said… I am so glad you are now rightfully empowered by the decisions you made xx
I am sure that if you took time you would remember it. You can still always request your notes too. I actually took photos of my notes from this birth before my midwife took them! Not sure if I was supposed to but I wanted to remember the times. Xx
“You made the choices that were available with sovereignty” is a truly wonderful way to wrap a deeply complex situation in often inadequate words. The thing I celebrate most in the birth of my second child (a home birth to hospital transfer) is exactly what you wrote there.
This is such a wonderful line to pull out and highlight. It truly helps me process it all. Xx
Ah thank you for highlighting this. It is probably something I have been thinking about in terms of all aspects of life, inspired by Laura Durban’s words here. I am so glad that it felt fitting for this situation and your own second birth. I think often it is when we feel our power taken away that it can be the most traumatic xx
Exactly this! And this was all in my power… to a point!!! X
I can relate so much! For me the birth was really sudden so it took me a long time to realise I had to grieve the birth I wanted and would never get. Thank you for you story 🧡
I’m holding you in that grief Morgane, it’s really truly something that deserves to be witnessed. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your resonance xx
Thank you for sharing your story with us Lauren ❤️. Your pregnancy sounds like it was extremely tough, that must have been a lot to deal with in itself. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying too, I had my first csection with my 3rd child because he was so big and that was by far my hardest birth in terms of how I reacted to the drugs and blood loss, then recovery too. I remember feeling very similar to you the night before too. Sharing our stories like this is so powerful, for ourselves and for others that witness our stories too ❤️ xx
Thank you for witnessing me lovely one. Gosh yes the recovery was an initiation in itself… requiring SO much support and the patience in healing… I am definitely still integrating all of that. So grateful for shared experiences that of course are all unique, but that do have common threads xxx
This is such beautiful and tender writing, Lauren. Making me think back to my own birthing stories and wondering whether to share. It's incredibly healing to fold these stories in, especially when they have not been the stories we ever wanted to be left with the telling of. X
Thank you so much Lindsay. it means so much to read your comment, it felt very healing to write and know they would be witnessed by a loving community space, and it feels like it paves the way for the next chapter to unfold when the words have been told. I think birth stories are like a forgotten gift… they are so often hidden away and unspoken, especially the ones that are undulating journeys, and while I understand for some they are too painful to share, even the act of writing them for ourselves allows integration I think. I would love to read your birth stories if you feel called to share them. Xx
Gosh this is just beautiful. I still get a tug in my chest when I think about what could of been with my desired birth center birth. It feels weird to say I am grateful for the traumatic birth I had but it shook me and sent me on a big journey of healing.
I truly truly see you and resonate with this whole comment. Another case of both/and co-existing together. Both of my births have taught me so much and actually I find a lot of reflections from them in the temperaments of the girls too! Xx
Proud of you sharing this
Love you xxxxx
Thank you lovely. Xxx
Grateful that you’ve shared. I feel the tension in recognizing a “should,” but also knowing that “should” doesn’t sit on the surface, it’s buried deep and this wasn’t the right time to try to unearth it. I’m also touched by your connection to your little one. I’ve been at ECVs and even when successful, they are intense, and can, indeed add trauma to a delicate and heavy situation (not everyone experiences them that way, but I wish moms had more license to trust their instincts, the way you did here). Thank you for sharing, and including the push and pull of your decision making and the realness of the raw feelings.
Thank you so much for this comment, it really means so much to me. I truly felt that it wasn’t right for us when it came to the ECV, I guess it was a good opportunity to listen in to myself and my baby and set us up for that connection when she came earthside. Very grateful for you reading and reflecting this back to me. X