When the words find you...

A simple snapshot in time as we approach the mid point of the year...

Hello sweet soul

How is your heart feeling?

I’m sitting on the floor of my studio watching my daughters bounce naked on the trampoline. I just did a beautiful practice with

Erin Taylor

and my body feels softer and a little more open…

For the first time in a little while I have the urge to write. Nothing substantial but words that felt soothing to express.

A robin has made her nest in the bird box for the first time since we moved here. I watch her sweep in and out with morsels of food for gaping beaks.

My first sweet pea flower is about to burst open. Ones I grew from seed. Something I feel immensely proud of, along with the fact that at the weekend we ate beetroot and spinach and strawberries that we grew with our own hands. Is there anything better?

A fresh breeze is tickling my hair on this sticky summer’s evening - there is a thickness to the air that is making my body swell.

I just read back some notes I wrote in my journal at winter solstice and have realised that I’m about to birth the very thing in my business that landed in my heart at that time. Such a beautiful reminder that things take time and follow their own rhythm. Also a reminder that things tend to have their own natural path when we don’t force them.

My roses are sitting in between. The first blossoms now shriveled and wilted and the next ones not ready to open yet.

The wildflower seeds I scattered have merged with weeds in my bed and I’m not sure what to pluck out and what to leave… so I’m letting it all run wild.

I’ve been missing writing here but felt I didn’t have much to say… and I’m reminded of the beauty in the pauses.

We reach the mid point of the year on Saturday. Another half year etched into our hearts. A year that has been both expansive and also challenging for many reasons.

As I settle more into my forties (42 at the end of August) I’m faced with truths that don’t feel that comfortable. Changes in my body that are inevitable but not celebrated widely. I’ve collected an array of protective storylines in my system that I’m now trying to unravel and I can’t say that is a pleasurable experience.

It’s an awakening year. My work is shifting. Motherhood is shifting me. My entire foundations feel like they are re-arranging and it is very disorientating.

Again.

There can be pressure to mark all the big moments through the year, but as my dearest friend

Lyndsay Kaldor

reminded me during an online circle this week… this mid point, solstice, is an opportunity to pause. To bring a welcome relief in the forever evolving momentum of the year.

A pause.

Oh a pause.

What a sweet gift to let myself sink into a gap.

An in between moment of nothingness.

A space to integrate. To observe.

I can’t help but feel as though the continual expansion of the year up to summer solstice feels a little too much in my system… I think maybe in this season of my life I feel more comfortable in the spiraling inwards and the depths of autumn and winter. Although the heat and light is enticing for sure.

My daughters now squabble as my littlest takes the eldest’s glasses. A game she seems to relish in. Shrieks of laughter turn to unrest and I know my time of writing is almost up.

It’s time to scoop up water from the paddling pool that the girls have been splashing in this afternoon and pour it on my thirsty plants. Bath time calls and the mundane, and yet somewhat soothing, evening rituals begin.

Another day closing. The same… but oh so different.

This life so sweet, so tender, so devastating, so delicious.

My words found me here… on my mat… for a moment… a beautiful moment of coming home in a season where I often seem to feel a little un-tethered. Perhaps that is just what it is to be truly human?

Are you feeling that too? Systems shaking? Beliefs uprooting? Changes afoot?

If you are… I send you love, and gentleness and permission to pause and let your heart and soul catch up with your body. You are right on time.

Until the words find me next time

With love

Lauren

xxx