I am Aleesha. Daughter of Corinna. Grand daughter of Sheila and Francis. Great granddaughter of Mary, Emily, and Granny Neal. Mother of Sage and Declan.
Sitting in circle last year with a group of women, speaking of our joys and struggles, and striving to listen rather than fix, was the first time in a long time that I felt deeply connected to other women, especially since the pandemic. The circle was only a couple months long, but we are still in touch and gather and talk, even though we’re all different and probably wouldn’t have crossed paths otherwise.
Thank you for sharing your lineage. It’s beautiful to read their names.
Oh gosh I think the magic of circle is that it brings together women of all phases and stages and you meet each other there. What a gift that you have felt that deep connection. So grateful for you reading these words and being here. Xxx
I am Sarina. Daughter of Claire, granddaughter of Elsie and Shamima, great grand daughter of Muriel and (a name I’ve been trying to recall, so thank you for promoting me to ask this question to my family, I’ve been feeling her and yet I don’t remember her name)
Such depth and honesty here in your words, I have experienced so much of this and resonate so deeply. ‘You can sit with us..’ this expression is SO healing.
Circles forever... yes yes... more of them. I need to drink in as much of their magic as possible.
Thank you for sharing your lineage... I too didn't know my great grandmother's names until I asked, and my Father still doesn't know his grandmother's name on his Dad's side - so it has prompted him to do some more digging. I find it baffling and so sad to think that we have already forgotten women that were not that far removed from us really... I want to try and create something that ensures my daughters, and the women beyond, have a way of remembering.
This is beautiful Lauren and gosh - I really feel, and relate to those deeply painful teenage experiences of feeling rejected by other girls. And also the harm I know I caused to others at that time too - when I was lost and confused and needed so much love and guidance. And I also so relate to being in circle -which was also so transformative for me. It was like I hadn't known it was something I was missing - that deep connection to other women.
Mmmm.... it was definitely something I didn't know I was missing - and I still forget and then remember again when I get the chance to gather with other women. I have a lot of empathy for my younger self, and also really hope I can guide my girls to act differently. xx
Mmm yes, I really feel that 'complicated' relationship status myself, having had similar experiences through school (I mean, an all girls school sounded like a great idea at the time, but I can't help wonder if it was that good for our overall wellbeing...) And very much there with you about the power and healing to be found in Circle - something I'm definitely seeking more of x
Oooof pretty sure an all girls school has a lot to answer for in terms of the narratives I have held around women. So much toxicity at times. We are definitely kindred spirits in the Circle magic... I have something brewing locally that I am excited for. xxx
“ I truly believe sitting in circle was part of that healing, it activated an ancient part of me that had been lying dormant for probably my entire life.”
I can’t speak the names in my lineage yet but I can say I am mother of Luna Jean and she is the fierce parts of me I’m yet to learn. Thank you Lauren. This is so so beautiful! ✨✨
I adore this... Luna Jean... 'the fierce parts of me yet to learn'... so beautiful - and thank you for sharing and of course being such a beautiful catalyst for all of this magic to unfold. Forever grateful for your courage and leadership. xxx
Aww it’s such a beautiful name. You know it’s such an interesting one for me because I thought she was called Luna Pearl and when I was pregnant she told me in a meditation, that’s not my name it’s LJ. My husbands mum was called Jane but everyone called her Jean and so I knew. ✨❤️
This is so similar to Sophia - her name was given to me in a dream months before I conceived her - I knew when I woke up it was the name of my daughter but never imagined it was going to happen in the way it did. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew it was her. xx
I am Christianna. Daughter of Rachel. Granddaughter of Alice and Jennifer. Great granddaughter of Beulah, Goldie, Cora, and Phyllis. Mother of Cairn, Sequoia, and Ross.
Beautiful: and I love your point about honouring our ancestors. They were women just like us! Here goes...
I am Holly. Daughter of Carolyn. Granddaughter of Jacqueline Cecilia and Noeline Marie. Great-Granddaughter of Olive Jane, Margaret Eugenie, Doris Annie and another whose name I don’t know. I’m my generation of the extended family, I am one of ten girls, born to four girls. We are all strong women and proud of our girl-heavy family! 🥰🤩
Oh my gosh this is so so powerful, thank you Holly I feel so honoured to read the names of your ancestors. I feel like if I could sit with any women ever it would be my grandmothers through the generations - I wish I could know more about them. xx
Such a beautiful post Lauren and many of us relate to that holding of the tension we feel whilst being hurt by women and yet loving women and the joy of being held by them.
Thank you for speaking to the healing that happens as we unpeeled our masks, motherhood and menopause for me have been huge portals for learning. I now know that vulnerability is power❤️
That is exactly it - a tension we feel between longing and loving, and fearing and hurting. Such a complex set of emotions to dance with.
I can only imagine that menopause will bring it's own rite of passage and mask unveiling, I feel like Motherhood and also reaching my 40s has done this to a point, but it almost feels like moving towards those later years will take me deeper and deeper into that truth - as uncomfortable as I am sure that will be at times. xx
Lauren! So excited to have reached your daisy post 🌼 thank you for your potent words and depth of feeling in writing this post. Such complexity lies at the heart of female relationships, I suppose as a result of our own beautiful complexities and of course the society in which we live. I do remember the unsettling shifts in transitions from primary to secondary school and then secondary to university and searching for familiarity. I made a decision to go somewhere my friends weren’t going for uni to branch out of the small world of my corner of North London but found I missed them desperately and found myself yearning to find people like them, strangely ending up becoming best friends with a group of tight-knit girls from your corner of Kent!
Anyway yes finding circle during yoga TTs etc was incredibly healing and also found me during a time I was healing a relationship with my body inc HA. To hear the powerful painful stories of others and see the shifts in them as they were witnessed will always stay with me and of course the medicine of being truly heard.
Thank you for all that you do as a writer, space-holder, collaborator and most of all, friend. Feeling layers of knowing that go beyond the time we have known each other.
I am Lyndsay Catherine, daughter of Dianne, granddaughter of Hilda and Awen, mother of Lila Evie and Max Asher. Delving deeper into my family tree for the ‘greats’! And also was deeply moved by a post by Asia Suler about how we absorb our child’s DNA when carrying them and so we ‘absorb’ the DNA of their paternal line. So I will speak the names of Lisa, Beryl and Margaret too xx
I am always in awe at just how beautifully similar our journeys have been. Thank you for these beautiful words, for being by my side in this wild ride - hard to believe we didn't know eachother a year ago - and yet of course on some level our souls did I am sure!!!!
Beautiful to hear/read your ancestors' names. I definitely feel it is important to honour the patrnal line as well - I feel my Father's side of the family just as much as my Mothers. xxx
I am Kerani. Daughter of Marieke. Granddaughter of Margret and Josie. Mother of Jasper.
Writing that out gave me chills. Thank you for this invitation Lauren. It made me realize also that I actually don’t know the names of my great grandmothers. I’ll have to remedy that soon.
I also felt that complex thread for IWD this year. For me, it was less sadness and more anger. I’ve been angry at the way that women are still having to argue for fundamental rights, that we are in fact human.
Your piece made me realize how much my own relationships with women have evolved. I didn’t have many friends growing up, but I did have a very close relationship with my mom and sister. Then in college, I lucked into a circle of some of the most amazing women that I know. Their friendship, along with my own self-discovery, really helped set me on the path that I’m on today. I don’t know what my life might’ve been like if I hadn’t found that support at such a vulnerable age. And I realize that all women have had that same luck.
Thank you for the vulnerability and reflection in this piece, it’s given me a lot to think on 💛
Thank you so much for sharing their names Kerani. What an honour, and I too had to seek out the names of my great grandmothers which in itself felt like a deeply healing experience.
I see that anger, I feel it too. I often find that anger and rage are so intertwined with grief and sadness.
I wonder how having sisters shifts the relationship with other women - I had a brother so the dynamic was very different. What a blessing to find that circle at such a young age - it definitely has come later in life for me, but now I am in true awe at the way their support has helped me grow and heal and trust again.
I am so grateful for your time and energy reading and receiving my words. Thank you. xxx
I am Rebecca Leigh, daughter of Laura Leigh, granddaughter of Nancy Helen and Patsy Marie. Great-granddaughter of Mary Corinne, Helen, Daisy and Sylvia.
What a treat to listen to this on audio. Thank you for your words. I also have so many wounds from woman and girls starting from a young age. I have such a paranoia around female friendships, not working through that has lead me to some of the richest relationships.
I am Tansie, daughter of Kerry Anne, granddaughter of Helen and Elizabeth
Thank you Tansie, so beautiful to read the names of your lineage. I am so glad you enjoyed the audio - it was long - I appreciate your time!!!
The wounding is really deep - and I think we have to tread so gently to heal it from the inside out. One day at a time, perhaps one generation at a time. xxx
So many things I cannot possible comment on but the most alive is the sting of not wanting to claim my lineage at all. The women who have hurt me the most are those I share blood with. I hope someday to have a girl to shift all of this with.
I am witnessing the sting that surfaces for you lovely one, and I am also honouring your loving boundaries and the depth that it brings to not claim it. I am so grateful for your honesty and truth in this circle. xxx
I am Aleesha. Daughter of Corinna. Grand daughter of Sheila and Francis. Great granddaughter of Mary, Emily, and Granny Neal. Mother of Sage and Declan.
Sitting in circle last year with a group of women, speaking of our joys and struggles, and striving to listen rather than fix, was the first time in a long time that I felt deeply connected to other women, especially since the pandemic. The circle was only a couple months long, but we are still in touch and gather and talk, even though we’re all different and probably wouldn’t have crossed paths otherwise.
Thank you for sharing your lineage. It’s beautiful to read their names.
Oh gosh I think the magic of circle is that it brings together women of all phases and stages and you meet each other there. What a gift that you have felt that deep connection. So grateful for you reading these words and being here. Xxx
I am Sarina. Daughter of Claire, granddaughter of Elsie and Shamima, great grand daughter of Muriel and (a name I’ve been trying to recall, so thank you for promoting me to ask this question to my family, I’ve been feeling her and yet I don’t remember her name)
Such depth and honesty here in your words, I have experienced so much of this and resonate so deeply. ‘You can sit with us..’ this expression is SO healing.
Belonging, oh yes, I know that ache.
Thank you for your depth.
Circles forever ⭕️ 🙌
Circles forever... yes yes... more of them. I need to drink in as much of their magic as possible.
Thank you for sharing your lineage... I too didn't know my great grandmother's names until I asked, and my Father still doesn't know his grandmother's name on his Dad's side - so it has prompted him to do some more digging. I find it baffling and so sad to think that we have already forgotten women that were not that far removed from us really... I want to try and create something that ensures my daughters, and the women beyond, have a way of remembering.
Thank you for sitting here with us. xxx
This is beautiful Lauren and gosh - I really feel, and relate to those deeply painful teenage experiences of feeling rejected by other girls. And also the harm I know I caused to others at that time too - when I was lost and confused and needed so much love and guidance. And I also so relate to being in circle -which was also so transformative for me. It was like I hadn't known it was something I was missing - that deep connection to other women.
Mmmm.... it was definitely something I didn't know I was missing - and I still forget and then remember again when I get the chance to gather with other women. I have a lot of empathy for my younger self, and also really hope I can guide my girls to act differently. xx
Mmm yes, I really feel that 'complicated' relationship status myself, having had similar experiences through school (I mean, an all girls school sounded like a great idea at the time, but I can't help wonder if it was that good for our overall wellbeing...) And very much there with you about the power and healing to be found in Circle - something I'm definitely seeking more of x
Oooof pretty sure an all girls school has a lot to answer for in terms of the narratives I have held around women. So much toxicity at times. We are definitely kindred spirits in the Circle magic... I have something brewing locally that I am excited for. xxx
“ I truly believe sitting in circle was part of that healing, it activated an ancient part of me that had been lying dormant for probably my entire life.”
I can’t speak the names in my lineage yet but I can say I am mother of Luna Jean and she is the fierce parts of me I’m yet to learn. Thank you Lauren. This is so so beautiful! ✨✨
I adore this... Luna Jean... 'the fierce parts of me yet to learn'... so beautiful - and thank you for sharing and of course being such a beautiful catalyst for all of this magic to unfold. Forever grateful for your courage and leadership. xxx
Stop Luna Jean is my name if I ever have a girl, what a beautiful name and an honor to be her mama.
Such a beautiful name. xx
Aww it’s such a beautiful name. You know it’s such an interesting one for me because I thought she was called Luna Pearl and when I was pregnant she told me in a meditation, that’s not my name it’s LJ. My husbands mum was called Jane but everyone called her Jean and so I knew. ✨❤️
This is so similar to Sophia - her name was given to me in a dream months before I conceived her - I knew when I woke up it was the name of my daughter but never imagined it was going to happen in the way it did. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew it was her. xx
Love this… someone on here writes about spirit babies… I forget who
I love that backstory, I love that she told you ❤️
You write so powerfully and movingly, thank you for this. It was a beautiful piece to read today
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing lovely, I am so grateful. xx
I am Christianna. Daughter of Rachel. Granddaughter of Alice and Jennifer. Great granddaughter of Beulah, Goldie, Cora, and Phyllis. Mother of Cairn, Sequoia, and Ross.
Beautiful, beautiful Christianna - thank you so much for sharing your lineage. xx
Beautiful: and I love your point about honouring our ancestors. They were women just like us! Here goes...
I am Holly. Daughter of Carolyn. Granddaughter of Jacqueline Cecilia and Noeline Marie. Great-Granddaughter of Olive Jane, Margaret Eugenie, Doris Annie and another whose name I don’t know. I’m my generation of the extended family, I am one of ten girls, born to four girls. We are all strong women and proud of our girl-heavy family! 🥰🤩
Oh my gosh this is so so powerful, thank you Holly I feel so honoured to read the names of your ancestors. I feel like if I could sit with any women ever it would be my grandmothers through the generations - I wish I could know more about them. xx
Such a beautiful post Lauren and many of us relate to that holding of the tension we feel whilst being hurt by women and yet loving women and the joy of being held by them.
Thank you for speaking to the healing that happens as we unpeeled our masks, motherhood and menopause for me have been huge portals for learning. I now know that vulnerability is power❤️
That is exactly it - a tension we feel between longing and loving, and fearing and hurting. Such a complex set of emotions to dance with.
I can only imagine that menopause will bring it's own rite of passage and mask unveiling, I feel like Motherhood and also reaching my 40s has done this to a point, but it almost feels like moving towards those later years will take me deeper and deeper into that truth - as uncomfortable as I am sure that will be at times. xx
Lauren! So excited to have reached your daisy post 🌼 thank you for your potent words and depth of feeling in writing this post. Such complexity lies at the heart of female relationships, I suppose as a result of our own beautiful complexities and of course the society in which we live. I do remember the unsettling shifts in transitions from primary to secondary school and then secondary to university and searching for familiarity. I made a decision to go somewhere my friends weren’t going for uni to branch out of the small world of my corner of North London but found I missed them desperately and found myself yearning to find people like them, strangely ending up becoming best friends with a group of tight-knit girls from your corner of Kent!
Anyway yes finding circle during yoga TTs etc was incredibly healing and also found me during a time I was healing a relationship with my body inc HA. To hear the powerful painful stories of others and see the shifts in them as they were witnessed will always stay with me and of course the medicine of being truly heard.
Thank you for all that you do as a writer, space-holder, collaborator and most of all, friend. Feeling layers of knowing that go beyond the time we have known each other.
I am Lyndsay Catherine, daughter of Dianne, granddaughter of Hilda and Awen, mother of Lila Evie and Max Asher. Delving deeper into my family tree for the ‘greats’! And also was deeply moved by a post by Asia Suler about how we absorb our child’s DNA when carrying them and so we ‘absorb’ the DNA of their paternal line. So I will speak the names of Lisa, Beryl and Margaret too xx
I am always in awe at just how beautifully similar our journeys have been. Thank you for these beautiful words, for being by my side in this wild ride - hard to believe we didn't know eachother a year ago - and yet of course on some level our souls did I am sure!!!!
Beautiful to hear/read your ancestors' names. I definitely feel it is important to honour the patrnal line as well - I feel my Father's side of the family just as much as my Mothers. xxx
I am Kerani. Daughter of Marieke. Granddaughter of Margret and Josie. Mother of Jasper.
Writing that out gave me chills. Thank you for this invitation Lauren. It made me realize also that I actually don’t know the names of my great grandmothers. I’ll have to remedy that soon.
I also felt that complex thread for IWD this year. For me, it was less sadness and more anger. I’ve been angry at the way that women are still having to argue for fundamental rights, that we are in fact human.
Your piece made me realize how much my own relationships with women have evolved. I didn’t have many friends growing up, but I did have a very close relationship with my mom and sister. Then in college, I lucked into a circle of some of the most amazing women that I know. Their friendship, along with my own self-discovery, really helped set me on the path that I’m on today. I don’t know what my life might’ve been like if I hadn’t found that support at such a vulnerable age. And I realize that all women have had that same luck.
Thank you for the vulnerability and reflection in this piece, it’s given me a lot to think on 💛
Thank you so much for sharing their names Kerani. What an honour, and I too had to seek out the names of my great grandmothers which in itself felt like a deeply healing experience.
I see that anger, I feel it too. I often find that anger and rage are so intertwined with grief and sadness.
I wonder how having sisters shifts the relationship with other women - I had a brother so the dynamic was very different. What a blessing to find that circle at such a young age - it definitely has come later in life for me, but now I am in true awe at the way their support has helped me grow and heal and trust again.
I am so grateful for your time and energy reading and receiving my words. Thank you. xxx
🙏🏼 Thank you, Lauren.
I am Rebecca Leigh, daughter of Laura Leigh, granddaughter of Nancy Helen and Patsy Marie. Great-granddaughter of Mary Corinne, Helen, Daisy and Sylvia.
An honor to sit with you all in this space 🙏🏼
Thank you so much Rebeccca Leigh, it is so beautiful to read these names and sit here in this space with you. xx
What a treat to listen to this on audio. Thank you for your words. I also have so many wounds from woman and girls starting from a young age. I have such a paranoia around female friendships, not working through that has lead me to some of the richest relationships.
I am Tansie, daughter of Kerry Anne, granddaughter of Helen and Elizabeth
Thank you Tansie, so beautiful to read the names of your lineage. I am so glad you enjoyed the audio - it was long - I appreciate your time!!!
The wounding is really deep - and I think we have to tread so gently to heal it from the inside out. One day at a time, perhaps one generation at a time. xxx
So many things I cannot possible comment on but the most alive is the sting of not wanting to claim my lineage at all. The women who have hurt me the most are those I share blood with. I hope someday to have a girl to shift all of this with.
I am witnessing the sting that surfaces for you lovely one, and I am also honouring your loving boundaries and the depth that it brings to not claim it. I am so grateful for your honesty and truth in this circle. xxx