Misty eyed, I scan the room and my gaze lands on a slither of light beaming through the side of the blackout blinds. This luminosity tugs at my heart and calls me with an urgency that I can’t ignore.
It’s her… she is whispering. Her rising energy as the day begins, she won’t let me sleep anymore. Sunrise at the lake beckons me in to her lustrous and watery arms.
Sliding myself out of bed so as not to wake my sleeping toddler, I ask my husband… ‘is it ok if I go?’ And he nods. Of course.
Pulling clothes on as quickly and as quietly as I can, an excitement stirs in my belly and I step out of the house into air and stillness that envelopes me in freedom and possibility.
A pleasurable shiver down my spine connects me deeper with my body and I start to tread a familiar path from my physical home… to my heart home.
Each step brings me closer to her. I sense anticipation for what beauty may greet me when I get ‘there’ and yet that doesn’t diminish the magic of the journey. Cool damp earth meets the morning light bringing a softness to the landscape that makes my jaw and shoulders melt.
All I can hear is the acoustics of Mother Nature waking from her slumber. Wildlife seems to accept me as part of them at this hour - a potent reminder that we can all co-exist. Light fragments glisten and glimmer through the shadows of the trees.
I meet it all with awe and I feel the stirrings of aliveness rising from my soul. A reassurance that I was there all along… not lost, not broken.
Before long I’m at her feet. At her edges. Where the water meets the land, and the earth meets the sky.
‘Sit’ she beckons. ‘OK’ I adhere.
‘Soften’ she urges. ‘OK’ my body sighs.
‘Breathe’ she invites. ‘Mmmm’ I sound.
‘Let me hold you’ she begs. I feel it land in my body…. ‘I am Held’ I whisper.
Hello lovely one
I am currently on a bit of a sabbatical from my regular writing, as I soften into the wildness of the summer holidays with two little light beams (my daughters). However, in the little gaps of my days, while the littlest one naps in her buggy, and the eldest one watches a Disney movie, I have been taking time to create this piece.
Some like to call it a ‘hero post’… but for me it is more of an orientation piece, a holding place you can come to find your way around, to get a feel for the kind of words I pour, the space I hold, my values, my visions and most importantly, my humanness.
Whether you have recently discovered this space, or have been here since the beginning (March 2023 was my first post), consider this piece of writing an introduction (or re-introduction) to my sacred space here…
First, let’s land together…
I would love to invite you — if it is safe for you to do so — to take a pause, and attune to this moment together before we journey on…
If you have two minutes to listen please do, otherwise simply read the words below.
Place one hand on your heart and one hand anywhere else on the body that is calling for attention. (Today mine intuitively went to my throat).
Ask yourself…
How does my body feel in this moment?
and…
What is on my heart right now?Sometimes there is lots, sometimes there is nothing. But the mere contemplation invites a micro moment of self tending that can nourish you in a beautiful way. You don’t need to do anything with this information, just bear witness to it through loving eyes.
There you are. You are so very, very welcome here lovely one.
Who AM I? The short (ish) story…
I am (almost) 41 years old and live in the South East of England with my husband and two daughters. They are currently (at the time of writing this) almost 5 years old and 19 months.
I spent the first 30 years of my life utterly devoted to horses. I lived and breathed them, competed in Eventing and Dressage and even embarked on a career out of combining them with my other love, writing, initially working in a national equestrian magazine and then moving on to create my own PR and Marketing Agency (called G-Gee PR & Marketing — my maiden name was Griffith hence the ‘G’) working with brands in the horsey world.
I also found myself being labeled in the first 30 years of my life as a ‘worrier’… navigating life with anxiety and panic attacks. In my late 20s it peaked and served as a catalyst for some big life changes. I still see anxiety as the unpleasant, but necessary wake up call to lead me towards making more conscious choices around supporting my mental and physical well-being. I found a totally new perspective through nutrition, movement and nervous system support and in turn my old career no longer felt aligned so I took my biggest pivot yet, selling my creative agency and ‘starting again’ with a more holistic and soul-lead business.
Following the heart’s path
It is probably worth mentioning at this point that I am a 4/6 Manifesting Generator in Human Design, and while I didn’t know it until 2019, I can clearly see that moving in a very non linear life path is exactly what I was always ‘meant to do’.
With that in mind over the last decade (unsurprisingly aligning with my Saturn Return) I have taken a magical mystery tour of trainings…
2014 - Certified as a Health Coach with Institute of Integrative Nutrition
2016 - Qualified as a Yoga Teacher after doing a month’s 200 hour intensive training in Costa Rica.
2017 - Trained to be a Meditation Teacher with British School of Meditation and did my Reiki Level 1 Training.
2018 - Furthered my Yoga Teacher trainings with the incredibly life changing Well Woman Yoga Therapy Teacher Training with Uma Dinsmore Tuli, did my Reiki Level 2 Training AND went to Canada to do my Yoga Nidra Teacher Training with Tanis Fishman
2019 - Embarked on a 600 hour Trauma Informed Sex, Love & Relationship Coaching certification with Layla Martin (completed it in 2020) AND qualified as a Pre & Post Natal Yoga Teacher with Sally Parkes. (oh… and had my first daughter!)
2021 - Completed my first Human Design trainings, Level 1 & 2 with Jenna Zoe and did my Cacao Mama Ceremony Training.
2022 - Furthered my Human Design reader training with Hatha Astro, studied with Jessie Harrold in her Matrescence Mentoring programme The Village AND embarked on a Squarespace Coding course with Squarestylist. (and became a Mother of two daughters a few days before the year ended)
2024 (so far) - Embarked on a deep dive Cacao Facilitator Training with Laura Durban and will be part of the incredible Pause Place Practitioner Training with Katie Abbott later this year.
You can probably get a little bit of a feel for my multi-passionate nature from the list above!
Becoming a Mother
Without a doubt, the most transformative lessons and expansion of all, has been through the initiation into Motherhood. 2019 saw me become a Mother to my first daughter Sophia and at the end of 2022 my second daughter Vesper was born.
Both of my Matrescence journeys have been beautiful and brutal - each of these little beings unveiling a depth to me that I didn’t know I was missing. Before becoming a Mother I felt a longing for something that I couldn’t explain, I searched externally for years, and honestly never imagined it was this.
The journey of Mothering has totally rearranged me. At times I thought it would break me (and still do at times), but I truly believe that despite the discomfort of it all, it is re-orientating me towards my truest self after decades of the world trying to pull me away from it.
My heart and soul work
This publication, Held, is one of the many threads of a vast tapestry of my heart and soul work. At the very centre of every single offering I put out into the world is my desire to hold an open, nurturing space for you to feel witnessed, held, and understood in your journey through life.
Some of my underpinning values in life, and business, are self actualisation - for myself and those around me - openness, creativity, raw beauty, depth, vitality and awe.
These values are woven through every offering I put into the world and hold me steady when the world around me tries to shapeshift me into something more ‘palatable’.
My current reality is that I am dancing with my creative work alongside the early years of Mothering, on a practical level that looks like two days of childcare a week and a lot of working around the edges.
My multi-passionate nature means that it is unlikely that any day will look the same and I balance my own writing and creations with holding others in birthing theirs through Soul Branding, Website Creation and Mentoring. Each piece feeds me in a different way and finally, after years of fighting it, I have embraced my messy wholeness and no longer try and label it.
You can explore more of my heart and soul work on my website if you feel called.
Finding your way around here…
You can expect the words and creations I put out into the world to be multi-dimensional and a reflection of whatever is exciting my spirit in that moment. Buckle up for embracing pivots and seeing possibility and potential everywhere!
To help you explore what is most on your heart right now, tune in and see which of the following areas call to you…
You wish to be witnessed and held in your journey of Motherhood.
Click here for Motherhood »You want to soothe your nervous system, rest and restore your aliveness through meditations and Yoga Nidras.
Click here for Self Tending Practices »You want to listen to other women talking openly about a medley of topics from business, to motherhood, to menstruation, to the mystery of life.
Click here for The Unravelling Podcast »You want to remember life as sacred art using contemplation and curiosity. Click here for Sacred Living »
You want to listen and/or read a few lines of poetry that will settle your soul. Click here for Poetry »
Kind words from amazing humans…
“Lauren shares soul work here. If you're a mother and you're looking to sit in circle this is the ONE place on Substack to go, to feel held, to feel less alone in it all.”
“Lauren's writing is beautifully crafted and unflinchingly honest. She gracefully navigates the juncture of motherhood and creativity, giving voice to the aspects of myself that often remain in the shadows.”
“Lauren’s words somehow always touch my soul exactly the way I need most. Her letters are an enchanting blend of heart, soul and intuitive wisdom.”
“Laurens thoughtful writing and gentle invitations to drop back into my wise self are always exactly what I need. You'll feel nurtured and held by her home here on Substack.”
“I appreciate Lauren's reflections on motherhood, there is something about how she writes so honestly and opening about what it feels like and means to be a mother.”
“Lauren holds a gentle home for mothers and creatives.”
Taking the journey deeper
If you choose to upgrade your membership to be a paid subscriber, for £5 a month or £45 a year, not only will you be supporting me as a Mother and Creative, but you will also get the following deepening experiences…
Full access to the Members Space which includes a library of guided meditations and Yoga Nidra practices.
Downloadable printables of my poetry - and insight into the journey that is my first poetry book being birthed.
Behind the scenes insight in the Unravelling Deeper podcast episodes/voice notes.
A chance to connect in the brand new Power Hour Soul Sessions launching in September.
Discounts on some of my other workshops and mentoring services.
And something BRAND NEW for Founding Members…
Remembering Your Essence - a 4 week journey
If you choose to invest in the Founding Members tier, at the current cost of £244, you will be invited to join me in a 1-2-1 journey of remembrance as we walk the path together for a little while using your Human Design chart to guide and orientate you to your heart and soul’s calling.
In addition to all the member benefits above, you will also receive…
2 x 60 minute Human Design Mentoring Sessions, worth £210
4 weeks of Voice note support on WhatsApp to support and hold you through your explorations, worth £111
Over to you now…
I have found the most beautiful connection has grown here in the comments, in the notes, in email responses, and I intend to constantly nurture this. I would love it if you pop into the comments below and introduce yourself, or if you are reading this on email then do reply and share a little about who you are and what is on your heart right now.
With so much love and appreciation, I can’t wait to go on this journey with you.
Lauren
xxx
Finally catching up with my reading! As always such beautiful words, I longed to be by the lake with you. So glad to have found you, I think in lockdown it was 🤔 and so happy to be subscriber ❤️
The more I read about you through your own words the more beauty I see. Your honest and heartfelt way to present yourself and your reality is enchanting, you truly are a flower, dear one. This is more than a hero post, this is a kind-eyed, warm welcome into your world and I am so glad to be slowly inching my way back into it. Sending you love,
Julia ✨